Part I

Susan Cambigue Tracey

Loving – a person who is capable of generating, and flowing, kind energy to themself and others.

Kindness– the quality of being friendly, generous, respectful, and considerate Here is an anonymous poem, bassed on ancient wisdom, that simply and powerfully shows the impact of our actions on others.


Drop a stone into the water

In a moment it is gone

But, there are a hundred ripples

circling on and on and on.

Say an unkind word this moment

In a moment it is gone

But there are a hundred ripples

circling on and on and on.

Say a word of cheer and splendor

In a moment it is gone

But there are a hundred ripples

Circling on and on and on.

When we are saying something unkind, or even mean, we don’t always know the impact it has on the person we directed it to.  In the same way, we don’t always know that our kind and loving gestures or words can lift someone up.  If a person has people saying unkind things to them, they don’t always realize the life-long scars that are formed to protect oneself.  These scars can often cause us to feel less, expect less, or even take on the very behavior that was so destructive to us. One of the strategies we use to protect ourselves is to think less of who we are.  Some poeple develop a lifetime of sadness or anger – even rage.  Others simple feel worthless, not believing that they deserve a good partner, career, work situation, or personal happiness.

 The current Dalai Lama once said, “My religion is kindness.” And, I really like this – it’s simple and straight to the point of what really makes us feel noticed, valued and accepted. I can easily think back on moments throughout my life when I was sad, felt worthless and unseen.  Then, a kind person – of any gender, race or age – gave me a kind smile, or an encouraging word – and, I immediately felt uplifted.  It’s truly amazing how fast a kind act can break through the walls we build to protect ourselves.


Of course, this is often a role that our pets play in our lives, as well – they look at us with expectant joy, curiosity or interest.  They easily rub themselves against our legs, climb up into our laps, give us a purr, cuddle or an enthusiastic jump! Sometimes they just lie down beside us – or on top of us – and fall asleep in that most accepting of ways. 


How do we become more loving and kind?  Is this even possible? 

 Yes, I believe that it is possible to become more loving and kind.  And, it all needs to begin within.  Before we can truly feel worthy of someone else’s love and appreciation, we need to begin by accepting and loving ourselves.  We can decide to close our eyes and connect to our own hearts.  This is where loving kindness resides – although sometimes it has been held prisoner.  Some of us have tightened the muscles around our heart, preventing us from feeling safe – relaxing into love, kindness, compassion, acceptance and inclusion.  A saddened, fearful, or angry heart, can isolate us from others, building a wall against attacks or shame. 


So, here is someting you might like to try, to free your own heart from your saddess, fear and anger:

  1. Sit or lie comfortably in a quiet indoor or outdoor space.
  2. Gently close your eyes; take a few moments to breathe deeply.
  3. Imagine a place of beauty; place yourself in the middle of this scene.
  4. Decide it is safe to open your heart a tiny bit and receive the energy of the beauty that surrounds you.
  5. Breathe in and let the energy flow into your heart  – feel the effects.
  6. Then, on your exhales, let the locked up love in your heart release and flow outwards.
  7. Repeat this several times – feel the ease and confidence that begins.

Being loving and kind begins with oneself.  It is the way we nourish ourselves with positive eneregy.  Eventually, you become loving kindness and radiate it out to everyone you come in contact with!